Too-Free-During-Holidays-So-Got-A-Lot-Of-Bollocks-To-Tell

1. To all the Malay language aficionados,please visit my Malay blog at http://www.marilahberblog.blogspot.com (Word Of Caution : My style of writing in higher Malay may really,really put you off.)

2. School chewren from Y**** Pri have told Uncle Sufian that these are the Top 10 places they dont want to go during the June Holidays.Parents/Guardians take note.

• School for remedial/supplementary classes(obviously)
• New theme park called Tuitionland
• Trekking at Mount Merapi(for a truly explosive experience)
• All 'confidence-building camps' including MOE Dairy farm,SparkC Camp and Uncle Osama's Camp in Afghanistan
• Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch(There is no return to innocence)
• Brokeback Mountain (There is no return to innocence)
• OBS(Obese Bound School) at Pulau Ubin(TAF programme for FAT kids)
• Skull Island,Mordor,Narnia,JB and all other horrible,God-forsaken places
• Jogjakarta,unless you want to shake, rattle and roll

3. To all the football fans,like Mr Rosli and Isreal,have a Happy World Cup 2006!Btw,ladies,Beckham is soo passe.May I recommend Kaka,the Brazilian hunk.He's more exotic and yummy.(I heard)

What do these footballers do while waiting for the World Cup?

Ruud 'Horseface' Nistelrooy – Rehearsal for Return of Mr Ed, the Talking Horse.

Robben: Pursues an acting career in Hollywood.Being tackled gives you a sore throat eh?

Beckham – Learns maths from Brooklyn and Romeo

Moanrinho – Puts up a statue of himself in Stamford Bridge.

Chelsea Team – Company trip to Bali for lulur and waxing session

Cristiano Ronaldo the Crybaby – Sleeps with his mommy, moaning ‘Everyone’s horrible to me’ and sucking her nipples.

Kieran Dyer and Lee Bowyer – Take up wrestling ....... with Keown

Alan Shearer – Starts a door-to-door MLM business like Amway or Pyrex

Robbie Fowler – Buys another 10 houses

Steven Gerrard – Gets his own zebra underwear to match girlfriend's hideous clothes

Ronaldinho – Gets braces

Cisse – Gets W.A.N.K.E.R tattoed on his scalp.

Crouch – Goes under Witness Protection Programme to hide from angry Liverpool fans

Gary Neville – Cleans and polishes Sir's cars

Sir Fergie – Takes up yoga in a last attempt at anger management. Fails miserably and begins to plot which player to fight with next season

Thierry Henry and Pires– Take up Spanish

Arsene Wenger – Have his eyes lasered for a 2020 vision

Benitez – Scouts for pretty Spanish boys for his harem